I’ve been having something of a hard time adjusting.
It’s not that I feel like I need a heart, like the Tin Man did. They told me at the hospital my heart is quite strong. The problem was just the blocked arteries. And they are all repaired and good to go.
It’s not that I’m afraid of death. I’ve looked at it square in the mirror, and come to an agreement with it.
I don’t think it’s the residual pain I have. Oddly, I feel much better while walking, yet worse while resting. Doc says it can take the heart awhile to “revascularize”. A fun new word to know.
I don’t even think it’s the new “heart healthy” diet I am supposed to be adhering to, although I secretly think death might be the better option of the two. We southern boys NEED grease and fat in our food.
Obviously it’s hard to “adjust” when one doesn’t even know what one is adjusting to. Fortunately I’m seeing my therapist tomorrow. She’s pretty good at sorting out this kind of thing.